I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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