I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
