just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
