shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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