question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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