we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
