My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
