I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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