This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
