I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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