I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
