I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
