Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
