Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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