god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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