is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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