He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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