You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
