Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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