There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
