He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
