After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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