Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
