How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Never joke about your clitoris.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
