he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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