Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
