I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
