my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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