College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
