Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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