Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
