his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
