I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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