You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
