my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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