I can text with my tongue
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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