return my video game
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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