it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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