She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
