There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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