Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
