I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
