I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
