dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
