They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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