That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
