Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
