We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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