Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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