Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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