I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
